Are You in the Closet?
Posted By Shelli Stevens on March 26, 2010
Shelli Stevens, The Author Your Mother Warned You About
by Shelli Stevens
1st Turning Point Columnist
Copyright © 2010 Shelli Stevens
So you write. Do you tell people you write? Maybe just a handful of friends or family? Well, I say, if you’re going to tell a few, tell everyone.
Yes, this is definitely one of those easier said than done cases. Here’s the thing. I used to be a bit shy telling people. I still am sometimes. But then, I write multiple genres of romance including erotica. And it’s the erotic stuff I worry about someone just picking up offhand. Most of the people (non-writers) I know don’t read romance, let alone erotica. So, I was tiptoeing around who I mentioned it to. And you know what? That got tiring, and seriously, it wasn’t going to help my sales any.
Now I tell people. Including friends from high school and my daughter’s kindergarten teacher. Results? Teacher bought my less steamy books and promised not to read the seriously steamy ones (sales!), and a guy friend from high school, whom I barely talked to then, just randomly contacted me to tell me he bought my book and read it (sale!). He also said he’d deny ever reading a romance novel with his last dying breath. Ha! I’ve honestly made a lot of sales to friends/family whom I thought would faint dead away at the thought of me writing such books.
And so I’ve realized, there’s a good chance people are going to find out anyway what I write, and if they’re up to reading an erotic romance, why not let them make that choice? It can only mean a possible sale for me (and a high school friend calling me a dirty girl, but hey…).
My point is, don’t be shy. Tell people you write and about your books. I realize some people can’t scream it from the rooftops because of employment situations, religious reasons, etc., and that’s hard. Because I do think it puts you at a bit of a disadvantage off the bat in your promotion (especially if you have a big circle of friends/family/co-workers).
But if you can tell people you write, what’s stopping you? You’re a published author! Be proud of yourself, no matter what genre or publisher. Something to think about. Just another possible sale in your pocket!
Take Meby Shelli StevensPublisher: Kensington After years as a slave to the pleasures of the powerful, Talia knows how to make a man mad with lust. But her pleasure counts for nothing—until a handsome, ruthless stranger appears. Ryder dares to look at her… to touch her… to awake in her a desire she’s never imagined. When he kidnaps her to learn her secrets, Talia vows not to let her passion take control. But soon she discovers that her captor’s intense gaze and searching hands can perform their own kind of interrogation, a sweet torture she finds impossible to resist… “Tense, edgy, highly erotic…” ~Kate Pearce “This is a scorcher.” ~Bonnie Edwards “Sizzling and emotional… Couldn’t put it down!” ~Susan Lyons “Take Me will leave you breathless.” ~Jaid Black WARNING! THIS IS A REALLY HOT BOOK (Sexually Explicit) |
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I liked this article, Shelli; came just as I’m getting ready to go a little more public myself, especially within my work setting. (And I write sweet romance, no less. Would love my son’s age group to propel me into Steph Meyerland–oh what a dream that would be, lol!)
Keep promoting yourself and I’ll do the same because you said so ;).
Joanna Aislinn
NO MATTER WHY
The Wild Rose Press
http://www.joannaaislinn.com
http://www.joannaaislinn.wordpress.com
Shelli, this was right on time for me. Just a few minutes ago during my morning commute, I was wondering if I should mention my writing on my Facebook site. I have a Facebook page with my pseudonym, but what about my regular name? The one where my old high school friends look me up? I have to admit, I’m still very much in the closet regarding friends and family. And I’m also getting tired of it, too.
Thanks for an encouraging article.
Shelli,
This is a fascinating article, well written, and makes an excellent point. We are our best salesmen. Being shy about who we are, what we are doesn’t sell the books we’ve labored over. Good for you.
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But what if you are a member of a very conservative Christian family and you secretly
write prize winning erotic literature of which you are very proud, but work that would
give your elderly mom a heart attack?
I have a problem with “blowing my own horn,” as my father would say, so I tend to be shy and hang back even though I know I need to be more aggressive to get those sales. As such, I found your article to be uplifting. If you can do it, I can do it!
I give updates about my novel (and my upcoming followup) on Facebook, Twitter, my two websites, my publisher’s website, my friend’s websites, and my blog. While I don’t feel as comfortable telling people in person about the book as I feel writing about it in a blog or website, I have no problem when I meet new people with telling them I’m an attorney and a writer. If they want to know what I’ve written, I tell them, if they ignore that bit of info about me, I figure they’re not interested and I don’t bother them with it. I also don’t feel uncomfortable if I see someone I haven’t seen in a long time or connect with an old friend on Facebook, saying or writing, “Hey, did you hear I finally wrote a book?” and since most people knew I was interested in writing, they tend to ask me questions about it and many buy my book.
But I will say that I write mysteries, and while they have pretty graphic violence, some adult language and a very small amount of maybe R-rated romance, I don’t know if I would be as comfortable if I wrote erotica. I guess in the end as long as you’ve done a good job and turned out a piece of good writing, you shouldn’t be ashamed to let the world know you wrote it, especially since self-promotion is one of the primary ways unknown authors, authors from small presses, and self-published authors make sales.
Thanks, Shelli! I know a lot of writers, not just those who write erotica, but across the board, who are hesitant to tell their families and friends about their endeavors. Maybe it’s because they’re worried that they haven’t sold a book, or haven’t sold a print book, or haven’t sold a book to NY . . . I don’t know. That’s never been my problem, no doubt because I was pressured to be a writer from my earliest days and I was hell-bent not to be.
Still, I think it’s important do realize the value of what you do as a writer. You’re giving others a few hours of escape from their troubles, or a laugh or two, or you’re scaring them delightfully out of their minds . . . all a good time, all to entertain people. I think it’s a high calling, frankly, and one we should take very seriously.
Good article, Shelli. It served as a good reminder that while I don’t advertise that I’m a writer while I’m at the day job, I have confided in a few co-worker/friends and they’re all eagerly anticipating being able to read my book. So, I’m building a small fanbase at work, and then, hopefully, they’ll tell a friend, and those people will tell a friend, and so on. And hopefully, that bit of buzz translates into sales!